Stupid Easy DIY Recipes to Stop Poisoning Yourself in the Kitchen
Like most part-time housewives, I prefer to keep my kitchen sparkly and nice. However, like most living organisms, I prefer to be alive and healthy. That's why I was SUPER ANGRY when I found out that all my beloved kitchen chemicals were mad poisonous. Household cleaners contain harsh and unnatural chemicals that can seriously irritate your eyes, lungs, and skin, or even cause cancer.
Lucky for us, it's STUPID EASY to clean your kitchen without getting a terminal disease or having your eyeballs fall out. And most of the ingredients are either in your house already or are extremely accessible!
Non-Toxic Surface Cleaner - DIY 409 Replacement
Let's start with surface cleaners. I know that it's totally amazing that 409 can literally disintegrate anything that's on your counters, but I don't feel like wearing rubber gloves and a gas mask to clean up a spill. All you need to replace it is:
- A spray bottle (you can find them at the dollar store pretty easy. Grab a few, cause you'll be making lots of stuff now)
- 2 cups of Hot Water
- 1/2 tsp of vegetable oil based soap (Dr Bronner's is the easiest to find)
- 1 tsp of vinegar
- 1/2 tsp of borax (which is totes non-toxic and can be found in the laundry or cleaning aisle)
Basically, just mix all that stuff together and then put it in the spray bottle. VOILA. CLEAN COUNTERS. If you have excess, just store it in an airtight jar under the sink and refill as necessary.
Non Toxic Window Cleaner - DIY Windex Replacement
Next up on the chopping block is our old friend Windex. They've done their best to green up their ingredients, but the mixture is still irritating to your eyes and skin. EFF THAT. Lets do something even easier. You'll need:
- 1/8 cup of white vinegar
- 2 cups of warm water
- You can throw in 1/2 tbsp of cornstarch too, if you're feeling crazy and want to experiment.
Literally, just take the ingredients and put them in a spray bottle. Maybe shake it a little bit. WAS THAT SO HARD? Go clean your windows, you lazy bum. We wouldn't want the neighbors to start gossiping about your translucent window spots.
Non Toxic Dish Soap - DIY Dawn Replacement
Finally, I'm about to blow your mind with a completely non-toxic replacement for dish soap that still makes fun bubbles.
WHAT? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?
Yes, BELIEVE IT. And it ain't even got no Sodium Laurel Sulfate to get all surfactant and poisonous on the stuff you eat with. Make your life easier and save an old dish soap bottle. You'll be using it over and over again to hold your homemade dish soap concoction. You'll need:
- 2 cups of water
- 1 tsp of vegetable glycerin (I got mine at a Lorien Natural Herbs and Supplements. It's a big bottle and I'll use it for a while)
- 1/4 cup of grated bar soap (pick a nice veggie-based soap like Kirk's Castile Soap)
- Some essential oils if you are a fancy pants person like myself. I went with Eau De Orange, cause citrus smells nice.
Step 1. Add the water and grated soap to a saucepan.
Step 2. Heat that sucker up on medium heat until the soap is melted and the water is boiling.
Step 3. Add the glycerin and stir it real good.
Step 4. Place this business in a mason jar or some other container with a solid lid
Step 5. Let the mixture cool for an hour or so at room temperature
Step 6. Add in your smelly oils.
Step 7. Let it set for 24 hours until its a nice gel consistency.
Step 8. Put it in your old squirt bottle and scrub some dishes!
There! YOU'RE WELCOME, CHUMPS. Now your cleaning bill should be cheaper and you can take pride in your non-toxic kitchen. That's especially good news if you've got kids to take care of. Teach them your magical DIY cleaning witchcraft so that they can be informed and healthy adults.